"I am convinced that our real lives are like films, where everything ends on a positive note. Happy endings. And if everything does not turn out well in the end, then that is not the end, there is more to the movie." -Om Shanti Om
Tuesday, March 30
The "G" day :D
Graduation Day!
Sa wakas, natapos narin ang apat na taong paghihirap ko bilang isang highschool student. Kasabay ng pagtatapos ko ay ang paglisan ko sa naging ikalawa kong tahanan sa loob ng sampung taon.
Grabeh... na-survive ko pala yung 10 years.. hahaha...
Nakakalungkot mang isipin ay kailangan na naming mag move-on para harapin ang mas malaki pang mundo at na kailangan na naming lisanin ang institusyon na humubog sa amin kung ano kami ngayon.
Magkwekwento na ko tungkol sa graduation day nmin,... alam kong sabik kana sa kung anong ikwekwento ko... hehehehe....
March 29, 10 (holy monday)
ofcourse its my graduation day!!.... naging masaya nman ang araw na iyon para sa akin... lalo na ung valedictory speech ni pauline... my gosh... muntik muntikan nang matangal ang maskara ko... hahaha... kasi yung dalawa kong katabi umiiyak na.... kya mejo nadadamay na ko.... hahaha
habang nangyayari ang graduation rites.... biglang tumunog ang mahiwaga kong cellphone...
"ui may nagtxt... cno kaya to???... (binuksan ang message sa cp) OMG!!!!!........ c past... ngtext!!...waahhhh..."
and he congratulated me for my graduation and he said he's always be there if i need his help....
aus lang nmn sa akin na kahit papaano ay nagtetext siya sa akin... at least were in good terms right?.... i hope he find a new one who can love him more than what I did...he deserves to be love righteously ...... everybody deserves it.... ganun naman tlaga eh... hinihintay ang pagdating ng tunay na pag-ibig... ;]
after the grad... talagang ang hilig manorpresa ng Diyos.... hahaha
i wrote a letter to music mentor... hahaha... a letter of appreciation or maybe a letter of confesion?..... wala naman akong inaasahang sagot sa letter na yun. Actually, tanggap ko na hindi talaga mababaliktad ang sitwasyon ng buhay pag-ibig ko.. sabi ko noon sa sarili ko... maghihintay nalang ako... d na ko maghahanap... bahala na si Lord sa lovelife ko... kung bibigyan niya ako ngayon.. thank you!.... kung bukas o sa mga susunod na mga buwan o taon.... thank you parin!!...
kaso... binigyan niya ako ngaun ng sakit sa ulo.... na hindi ko gagamutin para mawala... kasi minamahal ko na ng todo yung sakit ng ulo na yon...
sabi ng marami sa akin.... nakahanap ka nanaman ng batong ipupukpok mo sa ulo mo. Naku, marami na kong nahanap na ganyan... lagi naman eh. Sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos eh lagi may batong bumabatok sa ulo ko. Makita ko palang sila....
hayss... anyways.... after the grad.. the potato prince proposed his incorruptible love for the love sick princess... hahaha... grabe kinikilig na ko... hahaha ;]
and after the long wait... the love sick princess accepted the incorruptible love...
pero tinatanong parin ng prinsesa sa taas...
"Lord, bakit ba kasi sa lahat lahat ng fishes in the sea, SIYA PA???"
sabi sa taas..
"Sana masaya ka sa ibinigay ko sayo .. Siya naman ang hiniling mo eh! D naman sana siya yung ibibigay ko sayo, mapilit ka lang kasi ..."
pasaway na cupid.... wish granted... ang ganda ng GRADUATION GIFT SA AKIN.... hahaha ;]
Wednesday, February 24
Saving Grace
Its been a year since the love sick princess danced with her love-stoned prince. The Princess wants to cry at the ball when she remembers her love-stoned prince (he's still a stone) that event but her tears wept away when a "potato" prince came to make her smile again. :D
oww... by now i should be reviewing my notes for my final exams but i choose to type in this blog for some updates in my life.
Cainta Catholic College celebrates it 50th year foundation week.
- this week was a very enjoyable one and also a tiring week. i really enjoyed in some events in that week like the field demo of the teachers and the musical plays. The play " the Condemned" moved me tears because of its strong attack of drama. Maybe i was a bit affected because the theme of the play was "losing someone". Gosh. =(
- The JS Promaneade night.
Magtatagalog na nga lang ako dito. eto na ang huli kong JS Prom sa Highschool. Nkakaiyak mang isipin pero gagraduate na kmi in 3 weeks time. tSk. Okay lets start the JS story.
February 20-21. Birthday ng mga super friendships kong sila Patz at Lance. Habang papasok ako sa highskul gate, muling bumalik sa akin ang mga alaala ng nkaraang taon. Ayokong magexpect na may magbibigay sa akin, but i cant help it. At ayoko na sanang alalahanin pa kaso talagang bumabalik sila sa utak ko. Anyways, that night turns my heart back into circulation again. Actually noong foundation week ko pa to nararamdaman. It is a very weird feeling. I began to be attached on someone again. And its weird bec. he's more matured person than me. okay.. in short mas matanda sa akin. Gosh. i dont know why but its getting more stronger but i just ignore it.
Balik tayo sa prom.
Ang naging first dance ko sa Prom ay c Patrick. Im thankful na siya ang first dance ko. haha... And then dahil wala pa si Sir Henry eh c Sir Marvin ang pumalit sa knya for the mean time. At si Sir ang naging 2nd dance ko. As the Time goes by, nakalimutan ko na lahat ng mga bumabalik sa utak ko dahil sa kanya. Si Kuya Marvin (outside the school campus :D) ang naging katabi at kausap ko buong gabi. He's a funny guy and masayang siyang kausap. Madali ko siang nakapalagayang loob. You know.... sa loob ng isang gabi ay may bago nanaman akong friendship.
He opened up his love life and his life to me. First time kong makakwentuhan ng ganun katagal ang isang teaher at hindi ako sa kanya nakaramadam ng pagkailang. Siguro dahil sa ilang taon lng ang agwat ng edad niya sa amin. the other boys of the class danced with me also. thank you guyz. Siya rin pla ang Last Dance ko. :D
halos nakakakabitin dahil puro dance song at kakaunti lng ang slow. hay... buti nalang at andyan siya. He's my SAVING GRACE.
Nagtapos ang gabi ng bitin at medyo masaya para sa akin. Hindi man ako nakatangap ng roses, nakatangap naman ako ng chocolate. Kahit free trial lang sa convinience store, masarap naman ito at masarap din ang nagbigay. hehehe... JOWK!!!!
This is the weird part.
I met ET, or ET Potato (courtesy of Mariz Ponti :D). It is unsual to have an attachment to somebody. somebody who doesn't fit. Hindi ko alam pero parang napagod narin akong umasa sa pag-ibig. O mas mgandang, nawalan na ko ng tiwala sa pagmamahal. Okay. Sabihin na nating masarap mag mahal sa simula pero kung hindi kayo edi hindi nga. There will be ways that will seperate you from each other. Sinumpa ko sa sarili ko na hihintayin ko nalang ang true love ko. Para hindi na masakit, para happy ending nalang.
Pero ano to??... tumibok ang puso ko.. is this love?, mutual understanding?. attachment?. o just a result of my singleness?
sabi ni utak kau puso : " pwede ka namang lumandi ngayon, single ka naman eh."
sabi ni puso kay utak : " palibhasa kasi puro isip ka lang, wala ka naman talagang nararamdaman scientifically. wala kang pain receptors. kaya pano mo mararamdaman ang pakiramdam ng pagkatakot na may mawala sayo muli dahil sa pag mamahal???!"
oww... by now i should be reviewing my notes for my final exams but i choose to type in this blog for some updates in my life.
Cainta Catholic College celebrates it 50th year foundation week.
- this week was a very enjoyable one and also a tiring week. i really enjoyed in some events in that week like the field demo of the teachers and the musical plays. The play " the Condemned" moved me tears because of its strong attack of drama. Maybe i was a bit affected because the theme of the play was "losing someone". Gosh. =(
- The JS Promaneade night.
Magtatagalog na nga lang ako dito. eto na ang huli kong JS Prom sa Highschool. Nkakaiyak mang isipin pero gagraduate na kmi in 3 weeks time. tSk. Okay lets start the JS story.
February 20-21. Birthday ng mga super friendships kong sila Patz at Lance. Habang papasok ako sa highskul gate, muling bumalik sa akin ang mga alaala ng nkaraang taon. Ayokong magexpect na may magbibigay sa akin, but i cant help it. At ayoko na sanang alalahanin pa kaso talagang bumabalik sila sa utak ko. Anyways, that night turns my heart back into circulation again. Actually noong foundation week ko pa to nararamdaman. It is a very weird feeling. I began to be attached on someone again. And its weird bec. he's more matured person than me. okay.. in short mas matanda sa akin. Gosh. i dont know why but its getting more stronger but i just ignore it.
Balik tayo sa prom.
Ang naging first dance ko sa Prom ay c Patrick. Im thankful na siya ang first dance ko. haha... And then dahil wala pa si Sir Henry eh c Sir Marvin ang pumalit sa knya for the mean time. At si Sir ang naging 2nd dance ko. As the Time goes by, nakalimutan ko na lahat ng mga bumabalik sa utak ko dahil sa kanya. Si Kuya Marvin (outside the school campus :D) ang naging katabi at kausap ko buong gabi. He's a funny guy and masayang siyang kausap. Madali ko siang nakapalagayang loob. You know.... sa loob ng isang gabi ay may bago nanaman akong friendship.
He opened up his love life and his life to me. First time kong makakwentuhan ng ganun katagal ang isang teaher at hindi ako sa kanya nakaramadam ng pagkailang. Siguro dahil sa ilang taon lng ang agwat ng edad niya sa amin. the other boys of the class danced with me also. thank you guyz. Siya rin pla ang Last Dance ko. :D
halos nakakakabitin dahil puro dance song at kakaunti lng ang slow. hay... buti nalang at andyan siya. He's my SAVING GRACE.
Nagtapos ang gabi ng bitin at medyo masaya para sa akin. Hindi man ako nakatangap ng roses, nakatangap naman ako ng chocolate. Kahit free trial lang sa convinience store, masarap naman ito at masarap din ang nagbigay. hehehe... JOWK!!!!
This is the weird part.
I met ET, or ET Potato (courtesy of Mariz Ponti :D). It is unsual to have an attachment to somebody. somebody who doesn't fit. Hindi ko alam pero parang napagod narin akong umasa sa pag-ibig. O mas mgandang, nawalan na ko ng tiwala sa pagmamahal. Okay. Sabihin na nating masarap mag mahal sa simula pero kung hindi kayo edi hindi nga. There will be ways that will seperate you from each other. Sinumpa ko sa sarili ko na hihintayin ko nalang ang true love ko. Para hindi na masakit, para happy ending nalang.
Pero ano to??... tumibok ang puso ko.. is this love?, mutual understanding?. attachment?. o just a result of my singleness?
sabi ni utak kau puso : " pwede ka namang lumandi ngayon, single ka naman eh."
sabi ni puso kay utak : " palibhasa kasi puro isip ka lang, wala ka naman talagang nararamdaman scientifically. wala kang pain receptors. kaya pano mo mararamdaman ang pakiramdam ng pagkatakot na may mawala sayo muli dahil sa pag mamahal???!"
Tuesday, February 16
i dont have the courage
hayz... malapit na mgtapos ang school year 2010... umuoti narin ang panahon ko para ayusin ang dapat ayusin. hindi ko narin alam ang gagawin ko. kung lalapitan ko ba siya o hindi. Ayon sa iba, ayaw na niya akong maka-usap. Alam kong naiilang siya sa akin dahil sa nakaraan pero lumipas na ang isang taon. Hindi pa rin ba siya nakakamove-on?
Alam kong pinatawad na ako ng Diyos sa mga nagawa ko sa nakaraan. Alam ko na iyon. Pero sa sarili niya ba ay napatawad na niya ako?
Hindi ko malaman kung ano ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit di niya ako kinakausap. Laging "siguro" ang unang salita na binibitiwan ko kung bakit ganoon.
Na-realize ko na hindi pala dapat "pwede pa ba nating ibalik ang dati?" dahil sadyang hindi na talaga maibabalik ang dati. Kaya ngayon at dati ko pang gustong sabihin na " pwede ba tayong magsimula muli?"
Ngunit patapos na ang taon.... hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.
maybe its too late to say this....
and i don't have the enough courage to speak with you..
i know that your still hesitant to me....
but i only want to say that
"Can we start over again with a new friendship and forget everything about the past?"
Alam kong pinatawad na ako ng Diyos sa mga nagawa ko sa nakaraan. Alam ko na iyon. Pero sa sarili niya ba ay napatawad na niya ako?
Hindi ko malaman kung ano ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit di niya ako kinakausap. Laging "siguro" ang unang salita na binibitiwan ko kung bakit ganoon.
Na-realize ko na hindi pala dapat "pwede pa ba nating ibalik ang dati?" dahil sadyang hindi na talaga maibabalik ang dati. Kaya ngayon at dati ko pang gustong sabihin na " pwede ba tayong magsimula muli?"
Ngunit patapos na ang taon.... hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.
maybe its too late to say this....
and i don't have the enough courage to speak with you..
i know that your still hesitant to me....
but i only want to say that
"Can we start over again with a new friendship and forget everything about the past?"
Monday, January 18
ANOTHER LATE REALIZATION
OH LORD... WHAT I HAD DONE AGAIN????!!!!..... AYOKO NA!!
As the year 2010 starts . i promised to myself that i will think more positively and make my last remaining 1 month (i think) being a high school student. Gosh, I'll be graduating in 2 months time. but how can start my year 2010 rigth if theirs still haunting feeling inside of me.
As i read a book entitled " Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul", i had read a quotation saying "If your going to forget and to forgive others, you mustn't resent and remember the past." It seemed so weird for me to read kinds of books like that because i read mostly romance novels. But that quote left an arrow through my heart. I was struck and t made me to meditate for the things that i have done through the past.
I realized that I am not true to myself. He's not the one who doesn't forgive and forget. ME. I am the one who can't forgive and forget. I am the one who kept that distance spaces between us. I was eaten by my PRIDE. I wasted everything.
but there's still questions that passes through my mind. Did I ever tried?. Did I do my best to resolve?. Have I done my part?. I don't know.
Move on. As if nothing happens. pero paano?...
As the year 2010 starts . i promised to myself that i will think more positively and make my last remaining 1 month (i think) being a high school student. Gosh, I'll be graduating in 2 months time. but how can start my year 2010 rigth if theirs still haunting feeling inside of me.
As i read a book entitled " Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul", i had read a quotation saying "If your going to forget and to forgive others, you mustn't resent and remember the past." It seemed so weird for me to read kinds of books like that because i read mostly romance novels. But that quote left an arrow through my heart. I was struck and t made me to meditate for the things that i have done through the past.
I realized that I am not true to myself. He's not the one who doesn't forgive and forget. ME. I am the one who can't forgive and forget. I am the one who kept that distance spaces between us. I was eaten by my PRIDE. I wasted everything.
but there's still questions that passes through my mind. Did I ever tried?. Did I do my best to resolve?. Have I done my part?. I don't know.
Move on. As if nothing happens. pero paano?...
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